Judith Butler – Untamable misunderstanding. Gave a second wind to Lysenko's biological denialism, and to denialism in general.

Seller of all kinds of orvietans, especially the murky kind. Main derivative product: the LGBTQIA++++ rattle acronym (the tail grows one letter with each moult). Disputes any affiliation, even literary, with Rhett Butler; the latter, although a Southerner with anti-slavery tendencies, having the great fault of being a white, heterosexual male of Judeo-Christian culture.

She is pleased that, thanks to her actions (she thinks), playgrounds are now completely gender-neutral in Afghanistan.

Claudine Gay – Contextual racialist. Was propelled to the presidency of Harvard essentially on the basis of her melanistic merit. As part of her policy of subjective victimhood, she proudly defended the unfortunate pro-Palestinian aggressors of her privileged Jewish students.

Imposed the inclusive approach on all areas of her University and even on her productions since she included the work of other researchers. Just forgot to include their references. Had to resign from Harvard, victim of the intolerable reactionary pressure of the advocates of justice and truth (two big words).

There is no doubt that she will be able to bounce back, in South Africa, for example, where state anti-Semitism has succeeded apartheid. There, for her literary puzzles, she will be able to draw without risk from works such as The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, free of rights. But no homework. 

Anne Hidalgo – Superior Mayor. Car-hating Regent of Parisian Transport. Has transformed the capital into a gigantic cycle path. Thus, electric scooters and bicycles can ecologically contribute to the massive plundering of lithium, cobalt, and other rare metals.

Regarding urban planning, it seems that following an unfortunate error, public works companies only had the city plans of Beirut at their disposal.

With its green energy policy, it plans to align its score with the CO2 rate in the air for the next presidential election. That is, 0,04%.

Jean-Luc Mélenchon – Moâ en Mao. Lider minimo projecting for France the democratic and economic miracle of Venezuela. Stage manager of the Nupes puppet theatre.

Wants to be the hologram of Jaurès but turns into the ectoplasm of Doriot. From Jaurès, a regular at the Café du Croissant, only the taste of the croissant has been retained.

Pap Ndiaye – A not-so-magical postcolonial showcase. Neutral both urbi and woke orbi. His no-nonsense bubble has received the blessing of the union council. However, his shortsightedness leads him to mistake an abaya for an evening gown.

In recognition of his remarkable performance in Education, he was appointed ambassador to Wokistan (i.e. the Council of Europe), a heavenly land where the hijab is on sale, where the vocabulary is inclusive and where people deconstruct themselves between two cocktails with or without bubbles. Finally, like at school (which one?), you can be yourself and especially among yourself: bobos in the land of yes-yes.

Eric Piolle – Green Khmer. Impresario of freelance performers. Subsidized a play showing how to live happily in Grenoble next to a drug dealing spot. And that's no April Fool's joke. Supporter of a Lyon-Turin bike path, without a tunnel. Never turns on his cell phone in an elevator for fear of seeing a pornographic film. It's probably this prudishness that led him to promote the burkini in municipal swimming pools.

Edwy Plenel – Man of the oppressor. A frustrated Trotskyist, he sports a Stalinist moustache as a sign of contrition.

An admirer of the Terror, after the massacre of Israeli athletes in Munich, he courageously wrote under the pseudonym Josef Krasny that "no revolutionary can dissociate himself from Black September". He is without a doubt the cerebellar heir of Fouquier-Tinville.

An exemplary representative of the concept of hemilateral objectivity, he considers that everything that is not to his left is far-right (i.e. 99,9% of French people). A great critic of capitalism, he sold his shares in Médiapart* in 2019 for the modest sum of 2,9 million euros.

*whose anagram is Merda Tipa.

Sandrine Rousseau – Compulsive deconstructionist. Main works: “Grammar for Dupes” (in inclusive writing and indelible ink), “Ecology for Dupes” and “Neo-feminism for Dummies”.

There is an interesting "Richter scale of violence against women" where the more racialized the rapist, the less the victims' words should be taken into account. Iranian women survivors particularly appreciated his notion of the veil with variable geography, which becomes a symbol of freedom when worn in France.

Greta Thunberg – Green and unripe. Little Swedish puppet who can recite the IPCC report forwards, backwards, and in Esperanto. Urges young people to develop their education by skipping school.

In his crusade, however, escrologiste seems to confuse the culture of humus and the cult of Hamas.